When in this life will everything be clear and honest and appear just as it is. I'm tired of everything being foggy and feeling shaky and unsure. When will I look at something and just KNOW that is is toxic to me, without that little voice in the back of my head whispering that it might not be just this once. That I should try it because life is about taking risks and if I don't give everything at least a chance (or 50) I will regret it.
Why do I give more of myself to others than I do to myself? When will I stop feeling like I need to help EVERYONE, and drain all of my energy, thinking I might get some love and care in return, when that never happens. I know you aren't supposed to give anyone anything and expect something in return, but sometimes my tank just runs out when nobody even attempts to fill it. And at the end of the day, I'm just too exhausted to do that for myself.
This is sort of a realization post. I wish I could trust in things.. just have faith, but I don't know if that will ever happen. I don't want to be taken advantage of.
I don't even trust myself.. and that's probably where the problem begins.
Lots of work ahead.. and I'm okay with that.
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